Some people will tell you that Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light is a game about Lara Croft and her new partner Totec (a reanimated “Guardian of Light”) running through tombs and temples filled with a series of deadly traps while killing hundreds of demons and hostile animals.

These people would be lying to you.

Lara Croft’s latest adventure is about sitting on a couch with a friend and yelling, laughing, and sharing sighs of relief as you just barely escape a gargantuan rolling spiked ball (or whatever ridiculous horrors the game throws at you).

While it abandons the Tomb Raider moniker, Guardian of Light is more observant of the Core values of the series than the recent AAA releases. Early Tomb Raider games were built on three major principles: Difficult puzzles, impractical-but-deadly traps, and a focus on exploration in locations that were fantastical (if not logical). Guardian of Light wholeheartedly embraces these values and throws story to the wind.

Because Guardian of Light’s story is cheesy and implausible at best, it’s given the freedom to set up over-the-top situations that would feel out of place otherwise. I’ll avoid spoiling any of the game’s moments but, once you’ve played through Guardian of Light, you’ll be referencing some of the sequences in conversation with your co-op buddy for weeks to come.

Although Guardian of Light is forgiving, it isn’t easy. Lara and Totec will both die many times, but getting your friend back in the game is as simple as a button tap. If one happens to fall out of reach into a spike pit or off a cliff, they’ll be automatically respawned within a few seconds. An actual “death” in the game is when both players wipe at the same time. Even then, the game checkpoints very often, and you’ll never find yourself frustrated.

Co-op puzzle solving is a great experience; each one is so ingenious in its design that every solution will come to you through a logical realization (like in Portal) before you resort to random attacks at the puzzle in an attempt to stumble upon the seemingly illogical solution. The dialogue that will happen between your co-op partner and yourself isn’t restricted to high-energy situations, either. Puzzle solving will have you suggesting tactics, directing (or being directed), and copious amounts of high fives after the fact.

Guardian of Light gave us five-and-a-half hours on our first playthrough, and it seemed to end just as it started to rehash contents (such as boss and level reskins). If you’re the obsessive/compulsive type, there are collectibles and different challenges in each level that result in new weapons or costumes, as well as score and time goals to beat.

While Guardian of Light’s faults are few and far in between, there are some little issues that crop up throughout the game. The biggest issue I had was that the game made checkpoints too often. The euphoria that rushed in after surviving a particularly deadly gauntlet was muted by the checkpoints made at each quarter of the sequence. I think there could be a bit more risk involved in Guardian of Light that would both heighten the stress during the climactic scenes and allow for a greater sense of accomplishment once complete.

Lara’s latest adventure is a steal for $15; you owe it to yourself (and your co-op partner) to play this one through as soon as possible.

Some excellent points were raised—most importantly, just imagine what a troll would do with your real name—I must admit that I hadn’t considered that angle.

I still think that the WoW forums are a cesspool of the nastiest sorts of trollish behaviour. But perhaps making everyone reveal their secret identities is not the way to go. At least, not yet.

Unless you wrote a complaint to the ESRB—in which case, everyone already knows who you are.

What do you do when it’s Thursday night and you find yourself in downtown Toronto and you want to re-enact a 1989 Fred Savage movie? Why, you go to an art gallery for skaters and play Mario Kart, of course!

Confused? You won’t be after this week’s episode of Things that Sound like Mad Libs…

Here’s the preamble: When I was writing for Torontoist, I would rarely come across events in the editors’ story feed that appealed to my own interests enough to write about and, when I found something on my own, I’d have to pitch the hell out of it in order to appeal to theirs. Needless to say, I was rather surprised when I heard from the editors about a Mario Kart tournament in December of last year called “Relive The Wizard” (because of the lack of italics, it didn’t occur to me until later that they were referring to The Wizard). Unfortunately, I was unable to attend and, because nobody else was interested, no coverage was provided.

Since I’m no longer with Torontoist (and therefore get to write about things that interest me), I figured that the second iteration of “Relive The Wizard” (my italics) deserved a little love. And not only are Dave and I going out of our way to attend this one, but I’m also competing. And I have every intention of losing.

So I shot a quick note to the kids at Offshoot Inc (who’s hosting the shindig) with a request for a few deets and a sound bite or two…

“We laid a solid foundation for future events with the first Relive the Wizard,” replied James Hamilton, Offshoot’s managing partner. “It was a great night for both our friends and the new faces we met. I didn’t know what to expect going into the first event, but the night was a very memorable experience for us and for everyone that came out.”

Well, that takes care of the ambiguous PR quote… so here are the deets:

This Thursday, February 25, a bunch of people are going to be at The Baitshop, a gallery space located at 358 Dufferin Street (Suite 117), to play and/or watch people playing Mario Kart. There will be prizes. And cookies. And $4 drinks. And a DJ. (Dear lord, please let this not be some sort of hipster scene fest…)

Anyway, if you want to compete, you’ll have to show up at 7 p.m. in order to sign in and ready yourself for the mad ass kicking you’ll likely experience from everyone but me. If you want to simply observe said ass kicking, you’ll need to be there at 7:30. Either way, registration at www.relivethewizard.com is compulsory or your name won’t be on the list and you can’t get in. And you do want to get in, don’t you?

(Oh, and because I’m sure you’re just itching to know, “The Creeper” is the pseudonym of last year’s champion Chris Woodford. Yes, kids, you too can have a potentially inappropriate nickname if you attend!)

I hope he exists in real life, though… because I just bought a pocket watch from him.

Okay, it’s not so much a pocket watch as it is a pocket tree. But I digress.

From what I’ve gleaned through the regular stalkerish Google-esque avenues, the man behind the mask is one Thomas Girard, a twenty-five-year-old mild-mannered web developer by day who has called Toronto his home for the past three years.

You’re probably wondering what the hell this has to do with a site about relationships and gender-based gaming. Well, if you must know, he’s married. And he likes video games. Unlike some married gamers, however, sometimes he gets all artsy about it.

And this is one of the myriad results.

According to Steel Bananas, the catalyst that turned Girard’s vivid imagination loose upon the unsuspecting world of art was a gift from his wife. “It was a pair of felt robots mounted on paper and hung with ribbon,” he writes, “and I just loved it so much that I wanted to turn some of the images swirling around in my head into something physical.”

Okay. Before we go any further, let me be honest here. I’m not a fan of the art scene, especially in metropolitan settings like Toronto. In fact, I find many downtown artists pretentious and selfish (and I’d rather poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick than have to talk to one). But there was something about Thomas’ work (and his twitter pic) that evoked the word “whimsical” in a way that, refreshingly enough, did not make me want to punch him in the face.

Seriously. How can you hate a man who makes Shadow of the Colossus-inspired collage art?

So I asked him if I could pick his brain a bit whilst he was sitting in his apartment (or magical tree or wherever the hell he lives), adjusting the chain length of my newly purchased toy.

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